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Do you feel unmotivated? Keys to recovering mood and self-esteem

Update Date:14/05/2014 10:25hSave

It’s time to sleep, lie in bed and reflect on what happened to you on that day. If you remember the negative more than the positive and you give that so many turns that in the end it even takes away your sleep, maybe you are having a motivation problem.

If your life has reached that point, you may need to change your strategy and “reprogram yourself.” Looking for new emotions, mastering uncertainties, getting excited about different hobbies and projecting renewed future goals are the key to making encouragement and optimism come back to you.

This is explained by Juan Carlos Cubeiro and Jorge H. Carretero, authors of the manual “Dare to motivate you”, in which they explain the keys for those who have lost their passion to look for a way out of the lack of motivation and discover -as they explain for ABC- how to get the best out of themselves.1.- Do we live in a generalized neglect?

It is evident that we live in what Byung-Chul Han, a Korean philosopher professor in Germany, has called “the society of fatigue”. In our country and in the West in general, we suffer from apathy, boredom and anxiety. The 3 aces of demotivation.2.-What if one day you don’t want to go to work?

We have to differentiate chronic depression, which has to be treated medically, from reluctance or lack of interest. To overcome this lack of motivation, we precisely suggest that the person analyze what he has and what he lacks in terms of motivation and act accordingly.

We have to dare and be brave to motivate ourselves. And if at work you are not motivated – which happens to 40% of Spaniards with a job – we have to change the attitude or change companies. 3.-Do companies need a coach?

A coach makes a difference, as we have seen in the Spanish market (it is no coincidence that the book has been written by the spokesman of La Roja, Jorge Carretero, and a server, who is dedicated to leadership and developing talent).

Just as it is unimaginable that Nadal, Casillas or Gasol did not have a “coach”, the fact that managers improvise regarding their leadership is an unforgivable lack of humility.4.-How should a good boss motivate?

Motivation has the rules of human nature. If a boss does not motivate his team, the measures to take are to change negative habits into positive ones.

Basically, a true leader has to set the tone, get his team to share the objectives to be achieved. You have to form a cohesive team and infuse energy from optimism, illusion and development.5.-Where do we find new stimuli?

In the book we offer up to fifty examples of characters who by their motivation grew personally and professionally. From Antonio Morales, Junior, recently deceased, to Pilar Rubio, who has just become a mother; from Félix Rodríguez de la Fuente, the friend of animals, Albert Espinosa or Irene Villa to Nelson Mandela and Vicente Ferrer.

We have to know how to find free and quality time. This is a great challenge to motivate us. On average, each Spaniard watches about 250 minutes of television a day, most of it reactive, that is, “what they put on TV”, without choosing the program and that is why we cannot say that “we do not have free time”.6.-Are we victims or protagonists?

Like the citizens of any other country, in Spain there is everything. 80% feel victimized, which is a pity, because they do not direct or channel their own lives. 20% are healthy protagonists, know where they are going, enjoy the road and learn from mistakes.

We must be careful to be martyrs or saviors. It’s not healthy at all. Injustices exist but we must bear in mind that in most cases they are anecdotal or communication problems.

In this sense, the human being is capable of the best and the worst, depending on his character. He complains about things that aren’t really more important, and pulls strength out of weakness in the worst of circumstances. It is our personal choice to complain, lament our “bad luck” or get ahead, help others and help ourselves.7.-How do we motivate the one next door?

It is not a question of “giving sermons”, but of listening carefully, of supporting him, of helping him to set goals and of reinforcing him as he moves forward. Self-confidence, such as motivation or happiness, is not sought but built. It is a matter of courage, of bravery, of daring.

We have to generate positive emotions so that the people around us (partner, friend, child, partner) feel better. We have to positively influence others. From the sad, from the weepers, from the ashes, nothing is obtained. 8.-Do toxic people exist?

Emotions are contagious, and therefore if someone feels a lack of self-esteem (they do not love themselves enough), they transfer it to others. If you allow yourself to be helped, you have to do it. And if not, at least it doesn’t affect you. Health, to a large extent, depends on it.

It is obvious that we spend more time on the negative than on the positive. Being alert is helpful – and sometimes it can save your life. What happens is that for the human brain there is no difference between what one lives – a certain risk – and what one thinks – dangers that are not such.9.-Is there light in the face of discouragement?

Sure enough, after the storm the sun always rises, for everyone, and if it does not rise, we have to make it rise. In this senstido, we have to apply the “Carpent tua poma nepotes”, a Latin expression that Virgil collects in his Églogas and that means that what we sow will be collected by our grandchildren. We have to have perspective and transcendence in what we do.10.-How do we get out of the tunnel of discouragement?

In “Dare to motivate yourself” we propose the metaphor of an engine, of our own engine. To get out of the tunnel, we have to work up to ten blocks that allow us to live motivated and happy. It is a roadmap in the form of an acronym that is very worthwhile.

-Mobilize: We have to know what moves us

-Oriente yourself: Look for new challenges

-Time: Use time to your advantage

-Ilusiónate: The verno of illusion is to go out of your way

-Verbalize: Use positive expressions

-Thank you: Focus on what is worthwhile

-Take care of your loved ones: Attentive to who is part of your team

-Irreparable: Fits the painful

-Optimism: Explains in a positive and intelligent way the redalidad

-Naturalness: Enjoy the pleasures of lifeView the comments

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